Recently I’ve had some interactions on the phone with a prospective client who wanted a bargain on Scottsdale condo.
After the end of the final phone conversation with this person, I was left screaming obscenities, whipping towels at the bathroom counters, cursing myself for not being firmer from the get-go, and generally scaring my cat.
Here’s a revelation readers: Realtors are not shop clerks. We do not have a secret stash of really excellent products at knock-down prices tucked away in the back room, waiting especially for you to arrive at your leisure and swoop them up.
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I am not your personal shopper.
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I do not have access to secret deals that nobody else knows about.
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I am not hiding the really screaming good deals from you.
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I am not trying to be difficult when I explain that the condo you liked when you saw it 4 weeks ago is now sold.
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I cannot get you a pristine, move in ready property at 60 cents on the dollar. Anywhere.
Finally, if I could get a move-in ready condo at 60 cents on the dollar . . .
I would not sell it to you.
I couldn’t. Why? This property is not for sale. Either the owner already sold it to a friend who recognized a steal when he saw it, or the listing agent hired by the owner bought it immediately instead of listing it in the MLS. Either way, I am not hiding it from you.
Dear prospective client,
We’re breaking up. It’s not me. It’s you.
Sincerely, Realtor.
Heather Barr is a Realtor and a happy workaholic. She eats more than someone her size ought to be able, and is a runner as a consequence. Her TiVo's full of spy thrillers, police procedurals and Whedonesque sci-fi.
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Heather: I have a saying for those folks. “You snooze you lose. Next time I tell you to bring your checkbook, I mean it.”